It's The Little Things Friends Do For You

A few weeks ago I sms-ed two girlfriends to tell them the exciting news of when I'd be getting married. But I wasn't quite expecting the sort of reactions that I received.

Both had responded with sms-s. I was hoping for a girlfriend shrieking in excitement and joy on the other end of the line. I was hoping for at least a call to say, "Hey, that's fab news!!! We're so happy for you!!! What do you need us to do? The flowers? The decor? The music? Can we be bridesmaids? Are you doing this at a temple or church? Is there going to be a wedding in Singapore and then another in Perth?" I had thought that when one of us is planning to get married, we'd all throw our hands in the air, volunteering enthusiastically our help to do this and that.

But no, they were sms-s responses. One sent her congratulations and the other, apart from sending her congrats, also said to give them a ring if I needed help with wedding preps.

What was more disappointing (there's more?) was when I had asked the #1 to be my wedding coordinator, she declined and said that the second friend, #2, was a much better bet since she's been married before, she'd know what to do.

A) I never knew you had to be a missus to be a wedding coordinator.

#1 had actually helped #2 with her wedding last year. But she added that it was the couple running the show and she helped do whatever the couple had asked. I told #1 that was all I needed as well, and maybe a little help along the way with the know-hows of an Indian traditional wedding. But she insisted she knew nothing about such.

B) It was disappointing to hear that from her especially since no one could possibly know less than me (a wee yapper who comes from a family who can't even communicate in the language let alone practice all its traditions), and her Aussie-bloke fiancé.

I saw this wasn't going anywhere and it would be pointless in having a less than enthusiastic wedding coordinator so I said thanks and left it at that.

The whole exchange left me feeling very upset and disappointed. If your girlfriends (chicks you consider to be your mates and whom you hold to close to your heart) are not thrilled for you, what then? Somehow I cannot help but wonder, if you're the first in a circle of friends to get married, the excitement level just tips the scale. As you go round that circle of friends, as each one gets married, the excitement level starts to wane. Is it because we're getting older and are incapable of the enthusiasm that we once felt over a friend getting married? Is it because the notion of singlehood is more depressing than ever when you hear of yet another friend getting married? Not true, on both counts, as was illustrated by another group of girlfriends recently.

4 of them. One has been married barely a month, another about to pop her first child in barely a month, the other has been having a very bad year with family illnesses and the possible fact that she could be at risk too, and the fourth has been busy jetting back and forth between countries and working hard at her job. They have shown how thrilled to bitties they are for me, from talk about what colour sarees they ought to wear, who's going to be bridesmaid, who's doing the music, etc. They even rallied round me, even when they had more pressing matters on their mind, just so that they can join me on a Saturday evening to look at wedding gowns. Before that, two of them came all the way to the North (nobody comes up this way!) to a bridal boutique just so that they can give me their two cents worth on the designs the boutique had. They risked getting lost, vehicle clamps and $200 fines, and even the mother of all inconveniences - PMS, just so that they could be there for me.

I keep thanking them for being there for me because I truly do appreciate it. Granted, it's not like I've been diagnosed with a terminal illness. But I do appreciate the fact that they are making all this time for wee me. And it really warms my heart that I do have friends who are enthusiastic for me and who want to share in our joy. I am blessed.